Sometimes blogs, Facebook, and Instagram can make you feel like your life sucks. Like your house isn't as beautifully decorated as hers. Like your husband doesn't love you as much as hers does. Like you don't have the money to purchase a nice DSLR camera like she does but have to take pictures on your iphone. Like you are stuck at home with a teething angel crabby baby while she is enjoying her nice relaxing day at the beach with a tropical drink in hand. Like how is she able to go out and buy a new cute outfit while you have to sit back and know that there just isn't room for new clothes right now with a one income budget. Like look at her baby drinking from a bottle...why can't my sweet baby boy drink from one? Like how come she gets to live 5 minutes from her family and spend so much time with them when my whole family hasn't been together since Thanksgiving.......
STOP the madness.
Seriously, Audra, look at your heart. It's pretty ugly. You are jealous. You are coveting. You are greedy. You lack contentment. You are selfish. You don't even see how MUCH The Lord has blessed you. You don't see how The Lord has not only provided for every single stinkin one of your solitary needs, but he has given you more than you could ever ask or imagine. You have been given grace, which if you never had anything else, would be SO much more than you deserve.
Why do I get caught in this trap? Why can't I just peruse my friends' lives and be happy for them without feeling sorry for myself? I'm pretty sure the answer lies in spending time with Jesus and where my priorities lie. Some days are good. I wake up and read the word, pray to him and pour out my heart, and ask that I would glorify him with my life that day. Other days, not so much. Other days I wake up and immediately go to Facebook or check blogs or look at Instagram. I get caught in the trap of seeing what others post and think that their life is perfect and mine is far from it. None of our lives are perfect. I have to realize that what I see is just a glimmer of what others choose to post about their lives, it's not the real every dayness. I am guilty of it myself...only putting the flattering pictures, the sweet status' where my baby did something sweet or my husband did/said something kind and thoughtful. Never do I post about a bad fight we had or a picture where I'm not looking so good. But as women, we need to free ourselves from the comparison trap and know that we are far from perfect, we all have messy lives, but for those in Christ we are loved, redeemed and treasured by the king of kings. He didn't die on the cross so that we would live our lives in constant comparison and covetousness. He died so that we could have LIFE and have it more abundantly. So we could live real, refreshing, this is my mess and I want you to see it so you know how small/sinful I am and how forgiving and amazing and big God is. I need to wake up every single day and cry out to The Lord to help me see just how blessed I am and never flaunt that in front of others, but always point it to Jesus. Not by anything that I deserve do I have a husband that loves me and works hard at a job to provide for my family, a precious baby boy that was such an easy, perfect, healthy, happy blessing (how have I hardly thanked God that Grayson was literally conceived the very first time we started trying? This alone makes me nauseas bc I know so many precious, beautiful women that are struggling with infertility), a warm, inviting home, a fridge full of food and a closet full of clothes, a really nice used SUV that I love, play dates with friends, FaceTime with family...I could go on but I won't because that would be the opposite of what I want to convey. Every single gift in my life is given to me by the father of lights and it's only by his grace that I have anything because I don't deserve any of it.
Thank you Lord for opening my eyes today. Help me to see how you see and to always have a thankful content heart, giving you praise. Thank you for your never ending grace that covers my life and for loving me in spite of my sinful, wandering heart. Thank you for choosing me to die on the cross for when I have done nothing to deserve it. I love you!
And just to add a little bit of preciousness to end this post, here is my little sweet as pie Grayson Patrick complete with a soapy beard. :)
1 comment:
Oh Audra...how God must love your heart! I love how you seek Him when He pricks your heart and tells you to seek more of Him and less of self, to want more of Him and less of the world. Love what is pure and He will give you the desires of your heart!!! Oh how much do I love you my precious daughter! Keep seeking Him:)
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