Sunday, August 30, 2009

It's Been Forever

Matt and I on our 1st Anniversary

For the 2 readers out there.....I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. :) I don't even have an excuse....yes, we have had wonderful vacations with family, an anniversary, a birthday, and the business of work, however.....I still had time to blog and just chose not to.

I guess right now I am in a weird funk and feel like I don't have anything good to add to this blog. When I think about my life, I am truly blessed. I have a husband who loves me and provides for me, an amazing family, a dear church family, a great job with a wonderful boss, a sweet and cuddly big puppy, a cute apartment, a car that I don't have to make payments on thanks to my amazing parents, food to eat...and the list goes on. Greater than all of these things, I have a God who took the form of a servant and underwent a cruel and horrific death for me. I have the opportunity to life a life free from sin with His amazing grace poured out on my sinful heart. He has given me a purpose that is far greater than any the world could offer. I am known fully by the Lord....he sees ALL of the sin in my dirty heart and yet he LOVES me anyway.

Yet despite all that I have been given, I am not content. I find myself always looking to the future, wanting already what is in store. Looking for jobs that will make more money, looking for houses in a place we don't even know if we are going to live yet, looking for furniture to put in that house that doesn't exist and probably won't for a while, looking at blogs of adorable kids that I look at and say, "I can't wait to put cute bows on my little girl's head like that" when we aren't even ready to start our name it, I dream and plan it. I hate that I put such emphasis on fleeting things....things that have no value. I spend so much time desiring these things and not enough time praising the One who has already provided SO MUCH to my little life. I was researching some passages on contentment and God lead me to these...

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" -Hebrews 13:5

"I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:18-19

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into thie world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
-1 Timothy 6:6

And I'll end with this one...

"Your hands made and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands....May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant." -Psalms 119:73 and 76. Lord, I want this to be the prayer of my heart.

Thanks for letting me open up....haha, as if you had a choice. I really like to blog, I just need to use it more often. :)