Monday, December 17, 2012

True Hope

This morning it all feels so much more real. Watching the beautiful tiny faces and hearing their's just so incomprehensible to actually fathom. I am sobbing thinking about the reality of waking up this morning and instead of getting your son or daughter ready for school, you pass by their empty room. I posted this video on Facebook yesterday not really thinking about that reality. I watched it again this morning just sobbing over it because even though my son is a 2 1/2 month baby, he is already so ingrained in our family. His presence brings such joy and we are so incredibly in love with him. It's hard to imagine him not being with us and a part of our family. We dream about his life and have been since we first knew we were having him- what will he look like when he's a toddler, what will his favorite subjects and sports be while he is in school, what will he be like as a teenager, where will he go to college, who he will marry and so many more things. I think about these things with hope, excitement, and anticipation and not once with the thought that they won't happen. Even as a Christian and knowing we aren't promised tomorrow, I don't think that way with my son, my nieces, my nephew, my cousins children, our friends sweet kids. But then horrifying tragedies happen like what happened at Sandy Hook, and you realize it isn't far from any of us.

Yesterday at church our pastor said that in the face of such a horrible reality, we must affirm three things.
1. Evil exists in the world
2. God is sovereign
3. God is good

This is displayed in all of scripture and is true today. Knowing that such a disgusting act is even possible we know that evil is very real. But because we know that evil is real, good must be real. There must be a moral author who has established what is good and what is evil. God is this author and has written the ultimate story on each of our hearts. And the truth is, we have evil in all of our hearts. That is why we need a perfect Savior who took upon every dispicable sin for us. He bore the weight of the black, ugly, hideous evil ever committed. He took it to the grave and rose again so someday we get to live with him in perfect peace. He did all of that because he loves us- so much. He knows our hearts- even the ugly parts- and he intimately passionately loves us and pursues us. He wants to wrap his loving arms around us and give us true peace.

So it's in times we must cling to Jesus because its in Him true hope is found. It's not found in more funding for mental health programs, increased gun laws, better security for schools...although those things must be discussed and aren't bad ideas, they aren't the answer. Jesus is the answer and until he comes back to restore true peace to the world, nothing can come close to solving problems that we have.

If you are reading and you have never known true peace that only Christ brings, please know that God longs to give you that perfect peace through Jesus. He wants to be the comforter to your heart. All you have to do is ask him...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Two Months- Finished Post! :)

I am sorry that this post has been unfinished for over a week!  The blogger app on my phone won't let you save a post- it has to be published and I started this one and didn't want to lose it so I "published" it unfinished thinking I would get right back to it and that didn't happen.  Thankfully Gray can't read yet so he won't be able to be mad at me for not finishing his 2 month post. ;)

Two Months :)
Weight:  13 lbs 5 oz
Height:  24 1/2" long

I can't believe my sweet little butterball is 2 months already.  I love this boy so much it makes my heart ache sometimes.  His sweet little smile and happy demeanor bring such joy to our lives and our family is so enriched by his little life.  The second month of G's life was a great one!  He had his first smile fest, his first playdate with friends, his first road trip, he started sleeping through the night (hallelujah!), he met his cousins for the first time, celebrated his first Thanksgiving, and we started getting in a good little groove.  (Haha- well, as much of a groove you can be in with a baby.  I was just telling my sister the other day that as soon as you feel like you are in a good groove, things change.  That is just life with a sweet little bundle.)

I am sure many moms say this, but he is THE BEST BABY!  He is such a happy little guy and rarely cries.  We figured out last month that my eating chocolate was upsetting his little tummy so I cut that out of my diet and since that change Grayson seems much happier and I feel much better to not be causing a hurt tummy.  My sweet little angel really only has one time of day that he doesn't nap well in his crib which is from 5-7 PM but is content on mommy and daddy's chest, in his bouncer (we are borrowing a swing soon from one of my friends and I am hoping he loves this too), and in the carrier on me.

Grayson eats 6 times a day- 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, and a dreamfeed at 10 PM.  He is a little champion eater and can pretty much be done in 10-15 minutes.  Including eating time, he is awake for about an hour and then takes a two hour nap.  Sometimes he wakes up early from the naps and either has a burp that needs to be released or just has a little trouble going from one sleep cycle to the next.  I absolutely LOVE waking up now because one of my favorite things in this whole world is going in his room, taking off his sleep sack, watching him stretch his sweet little body, and then looking up at me and smiling the sweetest smile when I tell him good morning.  This literally happens almost every single morning.  It's almost like he's telling me, "It's so good to see you mom after sleeping 11 hours."

Yes, I am super blessed.  Grayson is sleeping through the night and has been since we got back from our Thanksgiving vacation at my parents house when he was about 7 1/2 weeks old.  After he eats at 7, we hang out with the little man until 8, sometimes reading from the bible and then put him to sleep.  I then go in at 10 and do a dream feed which he is pretty much asleep during and put him right back to bed.  Matt is amazed that he can be sleeping and eating at the same time, but it's this last feeding that makes it so that his little tummy gets just enough to then make it until 7.  I am a Babywise believer because I do think that the pattern of eat, wake, sleep during the day helps make it so that he sleeps through the night.  It's crazy because sometimes I think he is sleeping too much during the day but then he goes all night long too.    

Daddy singing to me
The Hippapotomus Christmas Song & Circle of Life with daddy moving my hands and arms & making motions
Waking up and seeing my mommy's face
Doing the Florida State Chant (not kidding- he LOVES this)
When other people laugh (he laughs too!)
When I wake up early from a nap
Having to burp but can't quite get it out
When I'm over tummy time
Oh Grayson, my sweet boy, YOU are loved beyond measure.  I can't fathom you not being in our lives and just thank the Lord so much because he gave us YOU.  It's amazing to me that God knew exactly who needed to be in our family and gave us you as that gift.  Always know how much your Heavenly Father loves you and has a purpose for your life.  Also know how much we love you and treasure you as our greatest earthly gift.  Your dad and I just said the other night if we knew that all of our children were going to be like you, we'd have 10 more.  (Although not really because mommy isn't cut out to be Michelle Duggar. ;))  You are mommy's precious angel and I am so thankful for you.  It's so fun to watch you grow and watch your little personality develop.  I am trying to treasure each day and soak it up because time is already going by so fast.  So keep growing but try not to let it happen at lightening speed, okay?  Mommy and daddy love you, angel bear.