Wednesday, September 15, 2010

We wait in hope for the Lord

My lack of updating the blog is very depressing....I want to blog about fun, lighthearted things but our lives have been consumed with trying to figure out what is wrong with my sweet husband. He has a neurologist appointment next week and we are anxiously awaiting some answers.

Praise the Lord that all major things are ruled out- his bloodwork came back normal and so did his MRI. He still is not doing well, but is the strongest person I know and still goes about his days living for the Lord despite what is going on physically. I can't even fathom dealing with what he is dealing with....I would be a wreck. A complete and utter mess.

God has been so faithful (can't even handle the fact that I doubt this constantly when he proves himself again and again in my life) and has shown his great mercy because he is using this to bring us closer to him and closer to one another. There was a short time where I have never been more scared in my entire life. Matt and I looked his MRI scan (of his brain) before the doctors gave us results (FYI...don't EVER do this! Don't even take the disk if they hand it to you!!!) and we thought we saw things that looked NOT NORMAL & NOT GOOD. Immediately, the fear sunk in....but God was there. He took our scared, confused, overwhelmed, broken selves and filled us with his holy, great, rich in mercy, mighty, healing, comforting, peace-giving, powerful SELF and the midst of one of our greatest struggles. He has shown us that our lives truly are a vapor and that it is a priviledge to live our lives for him and that there is NOTHING ELSE MORE VALUABLE OR IMPORTANT THAN HIM. Everything else is a waste.

What a truly GREAT God we serve. Why do I forget this 99.9999% of the time? Please, Lord, help me to remember this. That you are GOOD. That your GRACE IS ENOUGH. That you are THE ONLY THING WORTH LIVING FOR. That your GOSPEL is PERFECT and my life should LIVE IT OUT.

I found a great Psalm that just calms my heart and allows me to focus on HIM.

Psalm 31

Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him. Praise the Lord with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the Lord were the heavens made; their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be. He commanded, and it stood firm. The Lord foils the plans of the nation; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm foreve, the purposes of his heart through all generations...

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield, in him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name, May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.


Courtney said...

How scary to not have any answers yet, you guys will be in my prayers. Keep us updated.

Karen said...

I hate that you are going thru this, but by trusting God, He is turning your trials into strength. You are both so precious to me, keep trusting.